Clear Concise Communication
Clear Concise Communication – The Foundation of Any Successful Power Exchange RelationshipSuccessful power exchange relationships depend on clear concise communication. In order to transition your fetish fantasies and desires from the privacy of your late night bedroom routine to real life role play, clear concise communication is paramount. Watching fetish porn alone in the privacy of your own space is entirely different than fetish play where another person is involved. Obviously when you play alone, either by fantasizing about your fetish of choice or watching fetish porn, there’s no need for any communication because it’s a solo experience; communication is nullified. Though, that changes completely when taking fetish play to the next level by seeking out someone to play with.
“When fetish play is taken from a solo to a couple or even group experience, clear concise communication becomes fundamental.”Taking your fetish play from solo to couple activities adds another level of intensity to your fetish experience. The intensity stems from adding elements of a power exchange to your play. Power exchanges take place in the form of a Dominant (Goddess/God, Mistress/Master, etc.) and a submissive (sub, slave, sissy, etc.). The submissive seeks a Dominant, either through online webcam chat or publically through a local Dominant usually working in a dungeon. A submissive seeking a Dominant usually has some kind of intention to engage in a power exchange, at least for the duration of play at any given time. Power exchanges can range from light play only observed during a scene to a 24/7 Master/slave relationship which can affect every aspect of a submissive’s life. Regardless of the level of power exchange observed, the only way to have a successful and pleasurable power exchange experience is for the Dominant and submissive to clearly communicate their desires, limits, and safe words.
Communicating & Negotiating Desires & LimitsCommunicating and negotiating desires and limits makes for a smooth fetish play experience. Once a sub has found the Dominant they want to explore with, the sub should confide in the Dominant what their desires and limits are in detail. The Dominant should respond with communicating their desires and limits. This is important to protect both players during a scene from crossing emotional or physical boundaries. It’s not pleasurable when the Dominant pushes the sub too far, forcing the sub to break character, use their safe word and end the scene. Communication prevents moments like this from happening. Confiding desires and limits also facilitates the building of trust and respect between Dominant and submissive, which also creates a comfortable and meaningful environment.
Practicing your fetish communication skills via webcam is a great way to learn how to express your true desires and limits. Thinking about your fetish desires and limits is one thing, but expressing such confidential information out loud to another person is different. For most novices, privacy is definitely important. Learning how to express and communicate your fetish desires and limits via webcam is a great way to start off because it provides a safe space for exploration while staying anonymous and discreet.
If a Dominant and sub have different desires and limits, negotiating comes into play. For instance, a submissive may want to explore CBT but the Dominant doesn’t really enjoy that sort of play. The Dominant and submissive could negotiate a light CBT scene involving clothespins and verbal role play; this way both participants are happy and the scene doesn’t cross anyone’s limits. Other aspects of communication, like nonverbal communication, are also extremely important.
Non-Verbal Communication during PlayNon-verbal communication during play is very important. Sometimes during a scene, even after the most thorough communication, a sub can get so lost in subspace that they are not able to communicate their emotions and feelings. For instance during impact play or erotic humiliation, a sub can become so engulfed by the sensation they are experiencing that they could be unaware of how it’s affecting them, both physically and psychologically. This is where being able to read non-verbal communication becomes most important. It’s the Dominant’s responsibility to be aware of non-verbal cues that indicate a submissive is nearing their limits within a scene. Non-verbal cues like stressed facial expressions, muscle tenseness, intense wincing, etc. are good indicators that a scene might be too much. A good Dominant is constantly aware of their subs internal well-being, either intuitively or by checking up on them.
Spotting non-verbal cues via webcam can sometimes be tricky, so it’s important to utilize cam2cam technology when engaging in online fetish play. Not only does cam2cam help both Dominant and submissive establish a more stimulating fetish play environment (because they are chatting essentially face to face), but it also helps the Dominant decipher the sub’s non-verbal cues. Having audio enabled is also a great resource, because non-verbal cues can often come in the form of grunts, winces or moans.
Aftercare – Types and PreferencesAfter a scene concludes, it’s important to engage in aftercare. Aftercare is the act of caring for a submissive after the end of the scene once they exit subspace. After a sub exits subspace, they will most likely experience a range of symptoms similar to a cold or mild depression referred to as sub drop; chills, exhaustion, sadness, fatigue, disorientation, etc. Every sub is different, and likewise every sub drop is different. It’s important to take this time to talk with the submissive to discuss their feelings and reactions to the scene. Aftercare can also include cuddling, sex, showering, being alone, and cleaning, etc. depending on a sub’s preferences. Types of aftercare via webcam include discussing the scene: how the sub felt during the scene, what the sub did or did not like about the scene, questions a sub may have regarding a scene, etc.
Communication & Aftercare onlineCommunication and aftercare online do not differ much from communication in real life play. Subs seeking online fetish play are expected to communicate their desires, concerns and limits to their online Dominants as if they were face-to-face. Clear concise communication can be said to be even more vital in an online fetish play scenario due to the lack physical play; the power exchange is almost entirely mental. In order to really harness the attention of the sub, the Dominant in an online fetish play scenario needs to learn everything they can about their submissive. The more the Dominant knows about a sub, the more they can use to build a really exciting fetish scene around the sub’s desires. The more a submissive confides in their online Dominant, the better the experience will be.
Clear concise communication is the starting point for every successful fetish play or power exchange scene. Communication ensures that the fetish experience will be both comfortable and pleasurable for both Dominant and submissive. Communicating your fetish desires and limits via webcam is a great way for novices and newbies to become more comfortable and confident about their desires. The more communication between Dominant and sub takes place, the more thrilling the fetish play will be.
